[BREATHES DEEP] BUT I WILL NEVER END UP LIKE HIM [SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE] BEHIND HIS BACK I ALREADY AM [AGGRESSIVELY FLIPS TABLE] KEEP A CALENDAR SO THIS WAY [CLUTCHES CHEST] YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW [HEARTWRENCHING SOB]
(via frowninglessons)
guys I don’t like my blog theme anymore. send me some suggestions of the best ones you can think of.
I’m too lazy to make my own html today
OH MY GOD
SO I LIVE NEXT TO A VERY STRICT, VERY BIG, CHRISTIAN FAMILY AND ALL OUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN AND I JUST SCREAMED “JESUS FUCK” REALLY LOUD AND I HEARD 3 MORTIFIED GASPS FROM OUTSIDE IM CRYING
(via dangerzone6)
SO I RUN FRANTICALLY INTO KROGER TO GET KETCHUP BEFORE MY MCNUGGETS GET COLD
AND AS I STAND AT THE SELF CHECK OUT WITH ONLY A JUMBO BOTTLE OF HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP EVERYONE STARTS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME LIKE WHAT THE HELL
THEN I REMEMBER IM WEARING THIS SHIRT
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW
In heinzsight you should have checked what you were wearing.
Careful, or this joke might ketchup with you.
(Source: battouga, via let-the-emptiness-consume-me)
